I am not a mother, so why did I read a book about how to raise confident, healthy young women in America? Because someday I may be the mother of a daughter, and right now I am the auntie of a 10-year-old niece. Making sure the girls in my life (present and future) are strong and confident is important to me.
If you’re thinking this book is a preachy recitation of “tell your daughter to be proud of who she is no matter what anyone else thinks and everything will be fine” – you’re wrong. Peggy Orenstein acknowledges the warring opinions and philosophies on raising a girl who doesn’t put all her self-worth in her appearance. There are pitfalls in life and the author does not ignore them. She even admits her feelings of inadequacy regarding her own looks and her fear that they will somehow seep into her daughter’s self-perception. She tackles media (most markedly the “Disney Princess” deluge), how children of both genders play and what that may or may not mean for their future in relating to one another, the early sexualization of young girls(think Toddlers and Tiaras – yeah she goes to a pageant) and even the internet. But she manages to mix lessons on combating a girl’s desire for “perfection” with humor.
One of my favorite examples is her mention of the “Twilight” craze. Orenstein picks apart Bella without mercy. “But it is Bella, not the supernaturals she falls in with, who is the true horror show here, at least as a female role model. . . . Realizing [in New Moon] that she conjures Edward’s image at times of extreme danger, Bella flings herself off a cliff into a stormy sea and nearly drowns: ‘. . . I saw him, and I had no will to fight . . . . Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was?’
Oh yeah, I want my daughter to be that girl.”
Orenstein goes on to say that Bella’s one redeeming value in teaching girls to like themselves is that the character is a completely lackluster, decidedly not model-perfect girl who still gets the hot guy. (Um, I’m not so sure that should really be what girl’s strive for myself, but I didn’t write the book.)
However, I found this book to be informative, thought-provoking and entertaining. Do I believe it should be used as the new gospel on raising girls? No. Do I believe it has serious merit and will help parents(and cool aunties/uncles/grandparents/etc.) discover their own way to guide girls through the conflicting messages and images they must face every day? Absolutely. Give it a read. At the very least, it will get you thinking.
5 comments:
I raised 3 girls, and my advice for producing healthy, well-adjusted daughters is to be a healthy, well-adjusted mother. *wink*
Hey, you should write a book about that. ;-P
This sounds like a good pick, Looney. Thanks for the review.
Jai
I am very happy that I have two boys.
In a great many ways, they are much easier to raise than girls are.
That being said, I always wanted a daughter too, and would find this book valuable if I ever had one.
Thanks for the recommendation!
That sounds like a cool book, and reading it for the sake of your niece is awesome.
I love how the author rips apart Bella. I want to read this book!
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